When left to roam it’ll tell you you’re invisible, incapable, and worthless.

But none of these are true…

Even though it feels like that one person who doesn’t get you is loud and taking up your whole world.. it’s not true

There are other people around you who do see you.

Maybe they haven’t told you this lately.. but they see you.

(know this because you’re breathing right now…)

💡Yes, if you’re breathing you have value…

You can and will be seen by those who are for you…

And you are more than capable of doing the things you were made to do…

These thoughts and interactions are what led to me writing this affirmation:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

I did a similar challenge back in 2020, 2021..

And what I learned was number one it’s hard to start the habit 😅 but number two, it’s so meaningful and impactful and amazing

Like the rewards are bountiful for my internal well being.. courage, confidence, and self love start overflowing..

It’s just exactly what I know I need in this season of my life where I’m feeling a bit down, discouraged, a little defeated, very worn out by all the things

Back to my story — my goal was to restart this daily affirmation challenge because I know it works and I know I could use those type of results in my life again…

So, like last time, I started taking a photo of the affirmations to share them on IG as a way to hold myself accountable..

Well guess what?!

Life happened! 👀

2 weeks in and I have dropped ball.. here I go being inconsistent with my practice.

But I realized today that I always have a choice.

The beating myself up isn’t helping the situation, it’s just making me feel bad and feel more discouraged and isn’t getting me closer to achieving my goal…

So, in the moment I write this affirmation:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

A break from my phone..

And a break from being outdoors alone..

I made sure to only intentionally do the things I actually was genuinely interested in doing this weekend.

And I invited good people to join me in those festivities; not people who annoy me after I’m around them for 5 seconds 💡

It was oh so needed after the go, go, go week I had last week.

That’s the story of how these encouraging words came to me:

P.S. — here’s a few journal prompts you can use in a brief self care moment today:

What did you give yourself rest from this weekend?

What did you intentionally say yes to, to refill your cup?

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

No lie.

So, I talked to my therapist afterward… telling her the ins, outs, fine details that actually had a ripple effect on the outcome of the morning…

She asked me questions..

“And what did you do?”

“And what did you say back to them?”

And I told her all the everything… including the pressure that I was already under prior to the day starting…

The pressure and burden that’s been 6 months in the making…

Do you know she told me I handled all of it well 👀 WELL and very well!

I want you to know, my thoughts in that moment were of judgement to myself… here’s why…

because I felt like ‘others would have done better because they seem to be able to articulate words that yield helpful action in the midst of chaos.’

I had totally disregarded a few facts within my own story — I did in fact successfully articulate my need for help, what I had struggled to do on my own and with one helper, what I needed others to do in order to help us reach the goal, and what the overall goal is everyone would be working towards.

I literally did that. And did it while actively having a panic attack!

That is me articulating words that yield helpful action in the midst of chaos!

By the time I got home from work and took several intentional moments to pause and reflect, this is the affirmation that came to me:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

When they say things like, “You rock!”

“Thank you for making this program run smoothly today”

“You are killing it! I see you!”

“Idk what this organization would do without you”

“You’re really holding up the organization; you do so much for the team.”

“You give so much. You’re an invaluable part of this team.”

I’ve heard these types of compliments lately.. and they honestly feel validating where I’ve been feeling overlooked and a bit under appreciated 💡

That’s how this affirmation came to me:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

I just felt like refusing the alternative..

Have you ever had that type of energy about a day?

Like a ‘not today Satan’ type vibe?

Well, it was all over me this morning.

And guess what?!

Today, was in fact, a good day!✨😃

Here’s the affirmation that came to me as I was having these feelings:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

I let go of my worries about work..

I focused solely on me and Axel..

I made one of my favorite soups, Zuppa Tuscana..

I cuddled and loved on Axel..

We napped until we felt like getting up..

It was everything I needed mentally and emotionally..

And this is the affirmation that came to me as I realized how well I’d prioritized my rest:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

and I can now say I’m no longer in that place of extreme overwhelm..

I can also say that seeing the good and being thankful for the presence of that good has been a lovely reprieve 😌

That’s how this affirmation came to me:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Founder of COCO LOVE™

Feeling like.. as hard as I try to get all the things done..

it’s still not working… there’s still so much I haven’t gotten done..and this is just a cycle that won’t end…

And I just really really feel like I’m doing this whole managerial thing totally wrong.

Any new managers out there feeling the same way?

I had to stop and give myself some grace.

Because the fact is.. I’m new at this. And I’m giving it my all.. trying my best.. and if that’s my current limit..

That is enough!

Here’s the affirmation i said to myself:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

Well, today at work I was writing important information that was technically due to my boss yesterday.

I was determined to meet my extended deadline..

Had made so much progress on this document..

And I made sure to click Save multiple times throughout..

Well… something happened to the software… it was stalling.. freezing.. not responding.. so I clicked to close it.

When I reopened it, it asked if I wanted to recover what I was previously working on.. excitedly I hit Yes cause I made a few tweaks just before it crashed….

I sadly learned none of my work had saved for the last 5 hours…

(Yes, 5 hours!)

I didn’t even have the energy to get mad.. I was just so done… deflated..

I chose to breathe 😮‍💨 and I promptly clocked out✌🏾

That’s what inspired this affirmation:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

‘How could you break the streak?!’

‘Surely you could have done way better than just 2 days in a row Kahdija.’

‘You posted daily for a year back in 2020 - 2021.’

‘What is the deal?’

And then, I stopped myself and said…

‘You know what… beating myself up about this isn’t helping me write the affirmation, post the affirmation, or be encouraged by the affirmation.

I’m gonna commit to posting imperfectly. And I’m gonna be okay with that imperfection. It’s the progress that counts more anyway. 💡’

And then, this affirmation came to me:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

‘I can get ahead of these emails that are piling up in my inbox… set myself up well for the short week coming up next week…’

But I actually did a good job of NOT logging in!

And I’m super proud of me for doing that!

(I haven’t always been that good at saying no to working over time for my day job)

This is how this affirmation came to me:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

I ended up getting up to change it because, don’t want the bacteria from pre vet visit, to get into his mouth and potentially spread again.

That’s a refreshing, comforting, soothing thought.. to know he’s going to be okay.

My resistance to cleaning was all about perspective.

And that’s how this affirmation came to be:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

The result is this affirmation:

WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN AFFIRMATIONS?

I’ve studied exactly how I built my affirmation writing skill and distilled it into a step-by-step framework. Practice using the framework when you join the CoResting Circle.

The CoResting Circle is a community where busy professionals practice resting without guilt.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations.

It’s time to prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Creator of the CoResting Circle

As a busy professional wanting to do more self care, your internal dialogue could be creating all types of anxiety and confusion…

Like “Is self care really that serious? Other people manage just fine”

Or "I don't want my boss/coworkers to think I don't care or I'm not a team player"

Or "Am I just being lazy? Weak? Dramatic?"

No matter the thought – your internal voice is stopping you from resting and relaxing in the moment your body tells you you need it…

It’s a problem…

But it’s a fixable problem…

So, what does it mean to reframe this discouragingly negative self talk?

REFRAMING NEGATIVE SELF TALK MEANS FINDING THE TRUTH

Finding the truth in that negative self thought – is paramount.

Why? Because we give power to what we allow.

If we allow the negative thought to stand unchallenged, it has power.

Power to control what we do or don’t do – now and in the future.

So if you want to change what you do or don’t do in the future… start with changing your thoughts.

Your actions will follow.

Now, back to the reframing…

If you find even 1 ounce of a lie in the negative statement you thought or said, change it to something that’s factual of you.

Here’s an example…

There’s a big project on your plate at work, you’ve been at it all day but your deadline is looming. It’s already 7pm and you want to get some rest but then you have a thought…

"I'll just power through — I can sleep later"

How many times have you ‘powered through‘ this week?

Did you actually go to ‘sleep later’ or was it more like a quick nap and then you were up again working on another project?

What’s the actual, factual truth?

Let’s take a different scenario as an example…

You’re coming off of night shift and you have plans to sleep all day then do nothing but read, listen to your favorite dance music and eat at your favorite restaurant the next day – a total self care day. Your friend knows you’re off for the next few days so she invites you to an all day outing that starts 2 hours after you get off work.

You think to yourself… “I’ll just power through — I can sleep later”

How often do you ‘power through‘ when this friend sends you last minute invites?

How well did it go the last time you said yes thinking you’ll get some ‘sleep later‘?

Were you groggy and moving like a zombie once you went back to work the last time? Do you really want to do that again?

What’s the truth about this situation?

Reframing negative self talk requires finding the truth because facts are irrefutable.

And once you find the facts, your belief in your ability to reach your goal can grow to be just as unshakable.

REFRAMING NEGATIVE SELF TALK MEANS STATING THE TRUTH, CONFIDENTLY

If you agree that saying something confidently also means you’re saying something you actually believe… this section will make sense to you.

Maybe, I should have put a warning at the top of this article that says “only authenticity thrives here,” but I didn’t… so here’s your warning…

Being authentically you, being honest and transparent with you, is going to be key throughout this process.

Just wanted to throw that out there for your awareness and preparedness. This is entirely a you vs you conversation. No one to impress. No one to disappoint. The pressure is off. So, commit to being 100% real with you. That’s how you’ll get better results.

Once you find out what the truth is…

State it aloud until you sound confident!

OR if talking to yourself feels too awkward…

State it aloud as if you’ve just listened to a friend tell you their story and you’re just calling out the bare bones of what’s obvious and true — but they don’t seem to see at the moment.

As you state the truth aloud, you’re essentially waiting for the light bulb to turn on in their/your head

Why?

Because there should be questions that occur to you after realizing the facts of the situation (more on this in the next section of this article)

But first… a quick recap…

REFRAMING NEGATIVE SELF TALK MEANS QUESTIONING YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT

The moment you have a negative self thought that you’ve already analyzed and rephrased into a factually true statement…

is the exact moment you need to question the reason you had that negative thought

Questioning the negative thought the moment it comes up, helps you not only identify that it’s there, but also draw attention to the fact that you’re not letting this slide anymore.

You’re growing present with your words

And you’re here now.

And this will not fly.

This is the secret weapon… the first domino that starts a damning ripple effect, causing the discouragingly negative thought to loose the power it’s had over you.

This is you taking a stand and saying No more, No way, No how because I see you clearly!

Now.. let’s recap…

THE PROCESS OF REFRAMING A NEGATIVE SELF THOUGHT

First, you have the urge to rest or do self care.

Then, you think a discouraging thought that talks you out of getting rest or prioritizing self care.

Intentionally think to yourself, “wait.. is my previous thought true?“

Then, think to yourself “Here’s what’s actually, factually true…“

Then, say the reframed statement aloud until your heart feels moved.

I’ve done these 5 steps so many times I’ve lost count. And what I know for a fact is that it works.

WANT TO REFRAME YOUR NEGATIVE SELF TALK?

I propose you do it by using the signature methods I share inside my favorite self care resource, the How To Write Affirmations Toolkit.

How To Write Affirmations™ Toolkit

Yes, I’m saying personalized affirmations can help you reframe your negative self talk!

I believe affirmations are a tool that can be used in the moment you’re experiencing guilt, fear, and FOMO about resting.

And I also believe, the best affirmations are the ones you write about you — because you know the intricate details of why xyz makes you feel zxy.

So that affirmation you write is going to be potent and deadly to your thoughts of fear, guilt, FOMO, worry, doubt, etc the next time you have the urge to rest or pause and do self care.

To get started with the toolkit, request to join my CoResting Circle community and once approved, you’ll have immediate access to everything you need to start reframing your negative self talk within 30-60 minutes. (It’s currently free to join.)

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

But after putting in all that hard work and dedication…

After learning so much about myself…

After growing into the belief that I do deserve better and I can actually have it…

After developing more and more confidence to start doing the things that will yield me that “better“ life I dreamed of living…

I made a huge mistake.

THE TRAP OF FEELING INVINCIBLE AFTER WRITING AFFIRMATIONS FOR A LONG TIME

Once you write affirmations for months and months, you start to feel the change that’s happening within you.

I’ve heard some people say it’s because you’re literally rewiring your brain and creating new neurological pathways.

I say it’s because you inner voice has actually become accustomed to cheering you on instead of being a hater.

The thing about change is theres an old way…

And theres a new way…

Unfortunately, your old way has a lot more skin in the game than your new way.

So, when times get hard and you’ve broken your affirmation writing routine “because you’ve got this…“

Guess which way of doing things is going to be on supercharge as an auto response?

THE OLD WAY!

THE REAL REASON YOU MAY FALTER ON YOUR AFFIRMATION JOURNEY

Let’s say you’re 30 years old.

And you didn’t know you could change the negative self talk that permeates your inner voice until a year ago.

So, for the last 365 days, you’ve been writing your own affirmations…

Making them personalized to you…

Specific to what you’re going through…

And they’ve been working so well that you now automatically reframe your negative thoughts without having to write them down on paper and think through what words will best combat each thought.

So, you stop writing affirmations all together.

You’ve kept your affirmation journal handy, but you don’t openi it daily anymore.

You’re no longer spending time debunking the thoughts you have; finding out whether they’re made up feelings that are consuming you or actual facts that are true of you.

A few months go by and you think you still feel fine…

Something’s different – but you’re sure it’ll be okay because you were literally just high on life, feeling super confident in who you are, how you show up in the world, knowing you deep within your soul that you deserve to take care of you in the ways you desire to be taken care of….

Another month goes by…

Something is definitely off – you can’t really put your finger on what it is; but life is kind of lifeless, like a gloomy day with overcast skies and endless rain…

There’s a doom and gloom that hovers around you now – it feels odd, but familiar…

And then it hits you…

HOW TO PREVENT THE INVINCIBLE TRAP FROM HAPPENING TO YOU

The best way to keep yourself from succumbing to the old way of thinking and feeling – is to maintain your affirmation writing practice some way, some how.

Every little bit counts…

Even when you don’t think it counts.

Remember the example I shared in the previous section?

The old way has 29 years to the new way’s 1 year.

I wouldn’t expect a 1 year old infant to be stronger than a 29 year old body builder. So, how is this self care skill any different?

29 years of doing something the same way, untamed, and unruly will always be stronger than 12 months of trying a new way of doing things.

BUT!

In time…

The new way way can continue gaining strength…

The scales can eventually be balanced…

And on that day, should times get hard and you haven’t written your own affirmations in a while, you can be confident that you mind won’t auto revert to shaming you, guilt tripping you, crippling you with feelings of fear, doubt, unworthiness, and unproductiveness.

You can’t hide from your negative self talk.

It will always be a part of the story of you.

🤎 LOOKING FOR COMMUNITY?

The CoResting Circle is my self care community where busy women make self care a habit – one intentional moment at a time, together.

You’re invited to join us so you’re not alone in remembering to write your affirmations and prevent negative self talk from creeping back in and stealing your peace.

JOIN THE CORESTING CIRCLE

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Self Care Strategist
Founder of COCO LOVE™

Affirmation writing is most effective when there’s a deeper understanding of the lingering feelings behind the situation or circumstance you’re writing about.

Exploring your lingering feelings is definitely easier said than done, but it’s not impossible when you have a roadmap.

If you’re serious about learning how to make your affirmations more effective at helping you take action, keep reading!

Here’s a quick overview of what we’ll cover in this article...

• Use an affirmation writing method

• Determine your goal for writing affirmations

• Make your affirmation feel real

• Get unstuck when writing affirmations

USE AN AFFIRMATION WRITING METHOD

Knowing where you are right now in your affirmation writing skills will help you course-correct to make your affirmations more effective.

To understand exactly where you are right now, ask yourself these questions:

• Did you use a writing guide, method, or cheatsheet when previously creating affirmations?

• Were you focused on one specific problem or troubling situation when writing the affirmations?

• Did you deeply explore why the topic matters to you before writing the affirmations?

• Did you verify whether the final affirmations made you feel seen and understood when read back – as if the world stopped and focused solely on you for a moment?

If you answered no to all the questions above, you are not alone!

Most people who try to write affirmations for the first time have no idea where to start. And this is totally understandable because there aren’t very many people (on the internet at least) teaching others how to write affirmations.

Thankfully, I’ve been writing affirmations for years now, and as a result, I’ve developed a few methods you can use to output a sentence that’ll help you feel empowered enough to take action (i.e. highly effective affirmations).

Easy To Write Affirmations Mini Course

[[ My "Easy To Write Affirmations Mini Course" is a quick, easy method for creating your own affirmations anytime, anywhere. Click here to request 90-day access. ]]

PRO TIP: Start with a beginner-friendly affirmation writing method. Then, if you want to get even better results, progress to a more advanced method and commit to using the advanced strategies that enhance your affirmation writing practice.

Now, that we agree on using an affirmation writing formula instead of throwing random words on the page and hoping for the best... let’s talk about the thing that will fuel your affirmation writing – your personal, professional, or entrepreneurial goal.

DETERMINE YOUR GOAL FOR WRITING AFFIRMATIONS

When I first started writing affirmations, my goal was super simple; to start being a kind voice of encouragement instead of a loud, all-consuming voice of self-doubt and unworthiness.

I wanted to become the woman I could see myself being in the future – but at that time, showed zero signs of being on path to living the life that woman loves living. So, I decided to align my current inner voice with that of the woman I felt led to become.

At the time, I had NO idea what I was doing! I literally only knew my why as it related to my huge personal goal of becoming!

(I'm chuckling as I type this because I honestly cannot stress enough that stumbling upon affirmation writing was a total shot in the dark that just happened to be the secret ingredient I needed all along... like seriously mind blowing stuff... but I digress.)

In hindsight, having a goal and knowing my why behind that goal was the perfect place to start my affirmation writing practice.

So, ask yourself:

• Why are you here, reading this article right now?

• What was the last thought you had before deciding to write affirmations?

• Is there a version of you that you want to be in the future, but you’re nowhere near being her right now?

• Are you wanting to reframe your mindset or build a more encouraging inner voice so that you can accomplish a goal?

The sooner you get clear about what your goals is and why that goal matters to you, the sooner you’ll be able to use that answer as fuel to not give up on your affirmation writing journey.

MAKE YOUR AFFIRMATION FEEL REAL

If the affirmations you’re writing feel fake, it’s gonna be hard for them to be effective at moving you toward accomplishing your goal.

Your affirmations MUST feel real to you if they’re going to be effective for you.

So, how do you make them feel real?

...by making them specific to a situation you went through

...by making them specific to the future life circumstances you desire

...by making them highly specific to you

Here’s an illustrative example to bring my point home...

Let’s say you want to become a chef-level home cook who knows how to make almost anything using whole and raw ingredients only...

• If you fail to accept the realities of who you are currently... a microwave queen who only shops the center isles of a grocery store because convenience is king in your busy lifestyle... it’s gonna take you a long while to reach your goal

• If you refuse to accept the truth about your current skillsets... a knife shy girly who never learned to chop, dice, or julienne because you saw your older sibling slice their hand open when you were 5... it’s gonna take you a long while to reach your goal

The microwave queen trying to make a 4 course meal in 30 minutes using zero boxed, jarred, or bagged ingredients for the first time in her life will likely end in utter disappointment...

The knife shy girly trying to julienne 10 veggies for a homemade soup but she doesn’t own a slicing appliance with a julienne attachment...

I could go on and on in this scenario, but I think you get my point – knowing exactly where you are right now (skillsets, life circumstances, etc.) helps you chart YOUR necessary path to get to YOUR destination.

Your current destination is writing effective affirmations that feel real and true to you. So that means you’re going to have to be honest with yourself about your fears, hopes, dreams, strengths and weaknesses; even your unmet expectations and unrealized desires.

PRO TIP: If being this transparent feels scary, just remember that these affirmations are for your eyes only. No one else has to see them, so there’s no looming danger of being made fun of, belittled, rejected, or dismissed.

If you choose to share your finalized affirmations, my suggestion is to only do so with a trusted friend or loving partner. But, remember, in no way, shape, or form is it mandatory to share – it’s a choice.

GET UNSTUCK WHEN WRITING AFFIRMATIONS

Sitting down to write anything can be a challenge.

Between busy schedules and good ol procrastination, once you finally do sit down to write, it would be nice to NOT get stuck figuring out what to say!

My theory on why we get stuck while writing affirmations, and honestly anything, is two fold: premature self editing or perfect life projecting.

Premature self editing is when you’re editing in your head instead of on the paper. Solve this by word vomiting everything onto the page (i.e. all your thoughts, feelings, and desires). Then, read it back to determine what stands out to you the most.

The quicker you get the words out of your head and onto the page, the quicker you'll see which words are more encouraging to you.

Perfect life projecting is when you think about what would be super awesome to say (because it sounds nice), but it’s totally not true about you or the life you’re currently living. Solve this by being radically honest with yourself about ALL the things. Yes, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Loving yourself has a lot more to do with facing and embracing the ugly, more disappointing parts, than smiling bright about what you already totally agree with.

So, how do you get unstuck when writing affirmations?

...by editing on the page, not in your head

...and by being fully transparent about the imperfect and disappointing parts of your life

Remember, you’re not writing an affirmation so it can be perfect. You’re not turning the affirmation in for a grade. You’re writing your affirmations so they can help you achieve your goal.

MORE FROM COCO LOVE

Make your affirmation writing practice super easy to do by grabbing my beginner-friendly Easy To Write Affirmations Mini Course.

From new self care videos and blog posts to upcoming self care events, workshops, procuct launches, and mentorship opportunities, the Crewletter Club will keep you up to date on all things courage, confidence, and self love from COCO LOVE.

I’m willing to bet you’re wondering if courage can be learned?

And you’re likely wondering this because you don’t feel like you have very much courage.

Well, the good news is YES!

Courage can most definitely be learned!

But…

It will be a very challenging road to walk, mainly because it’s going to take of courage to walk it.

I know this sounds counterintuitive, but just follow me for a moment…

Here’s how courage building worked for me:

I’m afraid to do a thing but I really want to do that thing…

Another opportunity to do that thing is staring me in my face, so I decide I’m going to do the thing…

But for some reason my body isn’t allowing me to move toward the thing..

Then, I relax just enough to squint my eyes and tap the thing with my big toe..

And I open my eyes to realize my big toe wasn’t even harmed!...

And I think to myself: maybe I can put my whole foot in next time, and maybe my whole right leg the time after that, and oh what the heck I’m just gonna jump in already!

Does any of this sound familiar?

If you want to build your courage in something, you’ve got to muster up just enough of it to do that thing on a very small scale. Then, incrementally, you learn that you can in fact do the thing without getting hurt, and you were good at it too!

These positive outcomes give you permission to have a little more courage the next time you go to do that thing. And over time, you will have all the courage you’d ever need regarding that particular task or activity.

But if you want to build your courage in a different task or activity, you’ll have to restart the incremental courage growth process in that specific area.

So, can courage be learned?

Absolutely! Just pick a specific task or activity, and try to do it in small, yet manageable increments until you whole heartedly believe you can do that task or activity without any hesitation.

I’ve been writing affirmations for a year and a half now, and I have realized that I have a formula that leads me to successfully write them. I’m going to be sharing these tips with you, starting today.

Here’s 3 things you need to know and also agree to before starting to write affirmations...

. . .

1. You can live an amazing life

If you don’t believe you can be better and do better, will you ever be better or do better?

Self-belief is a must. And I’m not saying you need to have loads of it, but you do need to have at least a speck belief or a glimmer of hope for yourself and how would ike your life to turn out.

Repeat after me, “I believe that some part of my childhood dreams can become my reality and I am going to do what I can to make it so.”

2. You need to be vulnerable and transparent with yourself

If you start writing affirmations that are talking aabout things that you doon’t even want for your life, it’s going to be a problem when those things begin to actually happen for you... Why? Because you didn’t really want them!

So, why not be honest with yourself about what you really want out of this life? How does the life you’re currently living differ from the life you’d like to be living? How much detail can you describe about it?

Another reason you’re going to need to be honest with yourself on your affirmation writing journey, is because you can’t heal if you don’t first reveal.

One of the first things a doctor or nurse does when they get a patient with a stab wound, is remove the clothing surrounding the wounded area. If they were to leave the clothing on, it may get in the way of everything they have to do. A piece of cloth may get trapped in the patient’s body when the ‘freshly cleaned’ wound is being sewn or stappled shut. This would make the wound apear to be clean, but the fact is that something is still inside that will irritate this area and possibly cause more harm. Maybe the wound won’t heal correctly, maybe thee wound takes twice as long to heal, or maybe the skin closes atop of the wound but an infection starts to form beneath.

Why put yourself through the elongated pain and suffering when you can learn how to get vulnerable and transparent with yourself to start resolving the situation for once and for all?

Repeat after me, “I am willing to reveal my truest self to myself; my flaws, my pains, my joys, and my gains... becase I want to see me and be me.”

3. You are begining an intentional self care routine

The affirmations I’m going to teach you how to write are not going to be easily written with little thought and little effort. It took me hours and hours of time to write all the affirmations I shared on my Instagram page in 2021.

I’m not gooing to teach yoou what I didn’t do. So that means you need to be ready to put in work.. and that means getting intentional.

Just in case you need a quick refresher on what intentional is... Google defines intentional as “something done on purpose; deliberately.”

When you make sure something happens as close as possible to how you wanted it to happens, you were deliberate, calculated, and intentional. And if you’ve ever done this before, you already know this is more difficult to do than allowing what ever comes your way to happen as it may.

So, repeat after me, “I am commited to being intentional about my self care because I value how I care for me.”

. . .

I hope you’ve found these three things challenging but also interesting enough to commit to doing them. And I hope to see you shining bright one day soon while on your journey of writing affirmations for yourself.

Your self care awaits,

Kahdija Imari
Founder of 27th & Rose

I take affirmation writing seriously and thus I take my preparation for executing it just as seriously. However, the number one thing I want you to remember when finding the tools you’ll use to write affirmations is this experience is solely for your own mental and emotional wellness--so why not put your best foot forward and set yourself up for a highly enjoyable experience by surrounding yourself with things you absolutely love?!

I’m excited for you to start writing your own affirmations, so let’s get into this list of tools!

. . .

1. Something To Write On

Do you absolutely love a certain notebook or journal? Are you picky about wanting to write in a spiral-bound notebook vs a glue-bound notebook? Do you prefer hardcover or paperback journals? Have you ever written on a piece of paper and realized it was too textured for your liking or too smooth for your liking? Your paper doesn’t have to be white. It doesn’t have to be blank. It can have lines. It can be orange with polka dots or grey with gold marble designs on it. Whatever your favorite paper source is, find it, and reserve it for your affirmation practice.

If you prefer not to use paper, what would you like to write on? Is it your iPad? Is there a different tablet device that you can’t seem to get enough of these days and would love to have more reasons to use it? There are so many options nowadays for selecting something to write on. Commit to choosing something you enjoy writing on today and can see yourself writing on it for months to come.

2. Something To Write With

If you opt to use a tablet to write your affirmations, you’ll be restricted to using the pen compatible with said tablet. But if you choose to write on a form of paper, there’s a plethora of writing utensils you can select from.

Are you a thick pen lover or a thin pen lover? Do you want to use colored pencils, charcoal, or some type of marker? Does the marker need to have a flexible tip or must it be firm and be available in red? What is your favorite writing utensil? The one that gives you the least troubles and make your hand glide from letter to letter without a fuss? If you’re using a pencil, is it mechanical or do you need an electric pencil sharpener? Which writing tool do you prefer most, is cost efficient for you and makes you just a little bit more excited to sit down and write your affirmations?

I know these are a lot of questions, but I am not sharing them to discourage you. I want you to have a better understanding of yourself and to create the best possible environment for you to thrive as you write affirmations. Speaking of environments... you’re going to need the next item on this list.

3. Some Place To Write

You may think this item is not list worthy, but I assure you it is.

Imagine yourself attempting to take a 100-question multiple choice test in a chaotic, noisy, cluttered, and generally unstable environment such as in the middle of a school cafeteria during a 50 person food fight. Are you the type of person that would be able to easily concentrate in the midst of the commotion around you? It’s important to know what type of environment helps you feel calm, comfortable, at ease, and relaxed enough to think and reflect deeply. The fewer the distractions the better.

So, what type of location is best for you? Is there a certain chair or couch that makes you feel super relaxed? Is there a certain room or corner in your home that that allows you too feel safe and cozy? Do you prefer writing on tables and can’t stand writing on your lap? What location offers the best possible environment for you to write freely and comfortably?

. . .

The takeaway from this list is for you to make your best effort at finding things and spaces around your home that you already love or to shop around to find new, interesting things that will encourage and motivate you to follow through with your new self-affirming practice. I want you to commit to getting the little things right before you sit down to tackle the big things. Why? Because they matter just as much as the big things and because you deserve to be surrounded by what you love!

Happy Writing!